


Honey, I Love You To The Moon And Back

by UndervaluedAgent



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Revenge, Traditions, Weddings, made-up traditions, this is incredibly stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent
Summary: Ancap wants to know where the term "honeymoon" came from, and he doesn't realize that his teammate is not a reliable source of information.
Relationships: Libcap, ancap/libertarian
Comments: 11
Kudos: 55





	Honey, I Love You To The Moon And Back

Ancap was lying on the living room floor, high as a kite off of something Ancom had given him (he had to sneak money back to quem later, as qui wouldn't accept the payment needed). He was staring at the patterns in the ceiling, wondering about various things.

_ What even are we? Why do we exist? Are deep things deep because they swim in the deep end and against the tide? Is this all a simulation? Am I even actually high, or am I just being written as high by an author who has never even seen a drug in person? _

"Would you stop lying on the floor to do your degenerate drugs? You almost made me trip over you," Nazi barked.

Ancap barely seemed to react, but he did start to speak, "How come a honeymoon is called a honeymoon? Did someone want to take a trip to the moon after their wedding? ...And did they think it was made of honey?"

Nazi started to snicker despite himself. Oh, boy, that was stupid. He almost wanted to say that was true, but decided against it since Ancap would figure out that it wasn't true once he was sober again. Instead, he chose a more believable lie.

"Uhh, the name honeymoon actually comes from an old tradition where…the husband gives his wife a jar of honey and a…piece of jewelry with a moon on it. This tradition was meant to say, um, 'Honey, I love you to the moon and back.' Of course, this tradition is unfortunately dead now due to the genocide of white culture, which is why we need an ethnostate to make sure we don't lose any more traditions."

Ancap nodded thoughtfully, and then replied, "So should I bring the tradition back when I get married?"

Nazi felt a grin spread across his face. Was this fool actually going to do it? Oh, he'd be attending that wedding, even if it ended up being gay or otherwise degenerate, just to see Ancap make a fool of himself. "Oh, you have no idea how much that would mean to me. Thank you for helping to bring back a piece of my culture," he managed to say without laughing.

"What is the point of culture and tradition anyways?" Ancap began to wonder aloud.

Nazi grit his teeth and held back from ranting about the importance of culture and tradition. "I'll see you later, Ancap," he said, before turning and walking out of the living room. Oh, he couldn't wait for Ancap to get married.

***

Ancap walked out of the wedding reception arm-in-arm with his new husband Libertarian. Sure, they had supposedly gotten married for tax benefits (even though there were no taxes in Ancapistan, as taxation was theft), but Ancap thought that there were some benefits aside from taxes, such as having this sweet, wonderful man as his husband. Ancap was carrying a bag containing the final pieces of the wedding ceremony, and it was time to give them to Libertarian.

"Hey, Libertarian? There's one more thing I want to give you. Just to complete the ceremony," Ancap said.

"I don't think I recall what part of the ceremony you're talking about. But thank you, Ancap," Libertarian responded.

Ancap regretfully removed his arm from Libertarian and stepped back so he could get the items out of the bag. It took him a little bit to find the ring, but he eventually found it and took it out of the bag with the honey jar, handing them over to Libertarian.

"It means 'Honey, I love you to the moon and back,'" Ancap explained, a nervous grin on his face.

To his relief, Libertarian grinned back at him and said, "That was a really sweet sentiment, and the ring is very pretty. Thank you, Ancap."

Ancap chuckled and said, "Well, it wasn't exactly my idea. It actually comes from a tradition where one spouse gives this to the other after the wedding and before their honeymoon. And that's where the term 'honeymoon' actually originated."

Libertarian suddenly looked skeptical. "That...does not sound like a real thing. Who told you that?"

"It was Nazi…" Ancap trailed off as he looked off to the side and saw Nazi trying and failing to hold back laughter while standing by his car.

"NAZI! IS THE TRADITION YOU TOLD ME ABOUT REAL OR NOT!" Ancap shouted.

"IT'S FAKE YOU IDIOT!" Nazi shouted back, before finally climbing in his car and driving off.

"Oh, I'm going to get him for that one," Ancap said, suddenly noticing Post-Left out of the corner of his eye and getting an idea. "Actually, can I have the honey jar back?"

"Sure, Ancap. I think our private cook already has us stocked up on honey anyways," Libertarian said, passing back the jar.

Ancap took the jar and ran over to Post-Left, almost tripping over his wedding dress in the process. "Ancom! I need a favor!"

Post-Left turned around to face him. "I don't have drugs on me right now, sorry."

"What---no, this isn't about drugs," he said, shoving the jar into Post-Left's hands before taking his wallet out of his pockets (yes, he had pockets in his wedding dress. He might've been extravagant, but that didn't always mean he wasn't practical) and fumbling through it for cash. "I'm bribing you. I need you to pour this honey on Nazi while he's sleeping, okay? Oh, and record it," he finished, shoving a few bills into Post-Left's hands.

Qui looked at him skeptically. "You don't need to pay me to do this, Ancap. I'd pour honey on Nazi any day. …Actually, you know what? I don't like capitalism that much, but I need money. I'll take it."

"Thanks, Post-Left. Send the recording to me when you're done, okay?"

"Will do," Post-Left said before making quis way to quis car, getting in, and driving off. This was going to be fun.

***

"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

Ancap and Libertarian both started laughing hysterically at the recording they were watching on Ancap's phone.

"Oh, man, Ancap, this is hilarious. And from what you've told me about this Nazi guy, he got what he had coming to him," Libertarian remarked.

"Oh, absolutely," Ancap replied. Maybe some traditions did have a point, and a good one at that, when they had results like this.


End file.
